when in doubt...

blog update: when in doubt...

that's how rumors get started

blog update: that's how rumors get started

where do i go from here?

blog update: where do i go from here?

midterm edition

blog update: midterm edition

my hero

blog update: my hero

moved to:

http://changeonesmind.wordpress.com

i liked the interface better and the options are more numerous. i'm hoping the reason why no one's commenting is because people are still visiting this site and haven't received any new posts. btw, comments have also been exported to the new site so if you posted a comment before, guess what? they're still there!

slow your role pt. 2

first off, i apologize for changing the name of the site. i just thought it made a little more sense, plus it sounds more philosophical and it's a play on words if you know me well enough.

so it seems people are interested in conversation "roles". so here's part two of slow your role including user feedback roles.

the downer: brings the whole mood of the conversation down the instant he or she opens their mouth. this person just cannot wait to tell you about a tragic world event or the fact that they just "can't catch a break". this person just lost their phone or keys for the 15th time while tripping in front of a crowd of people down the stairs into a puddle of mud with the only clothes they own because they lost all their clothes when their house burned down the night before. provides fodder for any of the "comedic" roles.

the one-upper: this person turns everything you just said into dirt because they own, have a friend, or they've done something that is better, more expensive, or more well-known than anything you have ever bought, known, or done. they can't wait until you're done speaking so that they can "one-up" you. no i'm not talking about the green mushroom in mario brothers that gives you an extra life. but this is the person who after you talk about the new phone you just bought, tells the group that they were considering buying that phone but decided it didn't have any good features so they went with a better one. and not only that, but they bought it for half the price you bought yours for.

the name/place-dropper: you just ran into who? ursher? are you serious? you just came back from where? the north pole? whoa whoa whoa! this person is kind of like the one-upper. actually, put the name/place-dropper and the one-upper in a conversation together and guarenteed they'll keep going back and forth the whole conversation. perfect match for the question/information seeker.

the make up my own story in my head person: this person is one of my favorites. this person, when you start telling a story is totally with you and present. somewhere before the end of your story, he or she has completely phased out but in all appearances is paying attention. as soon as you finish the story, this person has somehow replaced the names of all the characters, locations and minor details of the story you just told. so when they try to ask questions about your story, you have no clue what they're talking about because they're talking about someone else who did something somewhere else other than what you just said.

the phone answerer: this person will always answer their phone when they're in a conversation with someone else or with a group of people. this person is usually but not always in a serious relationship and is usually talking to their significant other or else is an extreme workaholic and can't get away from work. he or she is usually not even seen in the conversation because they aren't even in the same room. they're outside talking on the phone. you can always tell the severity of the phone conversation by how long they're away from the real conversation.

if there are more roles people comment with, i would more than happy to write about those as well.

change my mind

true to the name of my blog, i am pretty indecisive. no wait, i'm very indecisive. or am i? yes, i am. that's the reason why it takes me so long to get dressed in the morning, or evening, or whenever time of day it is. so if i'm ever late for an event like your birthday party or i dunno, your wedding or something, it's not because i forgot or got lost, or didn't care; it's because i spent so much freaking time figuring out if i should wear khakis or jeans or a polo or button-up shirt. and that doesn't even get into what colors compliment each other although over half my closet is blue so that's not so much the issue. i mean, how many combinations of jeans and navy blue t-shirt could there be?

but not only clothes, i could seriously die of hunger in a grocery store because i can't decide whether i want lay's kettle cooked chips or cape cod's kettle cooked chips. i know it may seem very petty and stupid, but i seriously think i have a problem. can you even get help for being indecisive? i mean, how do you decide where you're going to receive help from? i supposed you could make out a pros/cons list.

maybe this is just me, but when i have to make a decision (usually a purchase), i find i have to pee. like, seriously. and if the decision takes too long, it gets pretty bad and i'll have to postpone my decision in order to frantically locate a bathroom and make a "just-in-time" trip. it's funny beause i'm so determined to make the decision before my bladder gets the best of me, i will wait until the last possible second before i burst before i start looking for the bathroom. does this happen to anyone else? please tell me i'm not the only one. if i'm ever with you making a purchase decision and i'm not running to the bathroom it's because i'm holding it in to impress you with my "normality".

i've heard that a good leader is not one who makes good decisions, but one who stands by his or her decision and sees it through. so i guess indecisiveness itself is a decision. i just seem to make a lot of bad decisions thinking they are the good ones. do i still see these decisions through? i guess it would help in the "becoming a decision maker" process. but would changing my mind to a better decision be worse than staying with a bad decision?

slow your role

do you ever analyze your "position" in a conversation or in a group of friends? what would be missing if you weren't there? do you ever have off days or are you pretty consistent? i feel like i'm interviewing someone one on one, but these are for anyone to answer. i'll get the ball rolling:

i always analyze my position in a conversation. but the thing is, as soon as i identify my position, that's when i take myself out of the conversation. either i can't get myself to pay attention anymore, or i'm stuck thinking about what my position is. let me explain. my position in a conversation, for example, is usually the comedic interjector. what this means is that i usually don't input any new information into a conversation, i don't ask questions; in all senses of the conversation, if carrying the conversation was for some reason left up to me, it would die. however, in a small group between 3 and 6, i can interject with funny comments based on what other people are talking about. so what's your position? conversation carrier, comedic carrier, serious talker, information seeker/question asker, story-teller, quiet observer, conversation de-railer, or a comedic interjector? these terms can also be mixed and matched. for instance, there can be a story-teller de-railer, or a question interjector, etc. let me define them and maybe you can pick yourself out from the list of descriptions.

conversation carrier - there's never really much silence in any conversation you are involved in. like the name says, you carry the conversation. you are pretty well rounded in the art of conversation. some funny here, some questions there, maybe a story or two mixed in with some current events going on. you always have something to say to pretty much anyone you're talking with.

comedic carrier - same as above only not as balanced. conversation with you is always fun, people are drawn to being in conversation with you. you joke around, but it's a consistent, sustained joking. not like the interjectors who can only spit out a joke or two every once in a while. you don't really ask questions, but you'll tell funny stories or quote some funny movies/tv shows.

serious talker - you really just want to get down to the core of it. no small talk, no foolishness. in fact, although a little fun in conversation is condoned, your philosphy is: there has to be a reason to be talking, you don't talk for no reason. the conversation must be beneficial in some way to one or more parties. your enemy is the comedic carrier. ok, maybe enemy is not the best word. maybe your antithesis. i kinda feel like i'm writing chinese horoscopes.

information seeker/question asker - you want to gain as much as you can in every conversation you have. much like the serious talker, conversations must have a purpose. you usually ask more questions than sentences, which isn't a bad thing most of the time although sometimes people can feel like they are being interviewed if it's question after question.

story-teller - you have mastered the art of story-telling. people laugh when you tell a funny story, people are concerned when you tell a sad story. people often stop themselves from continuing on with a story just beause of the fact that you are present so that they can hand over the story to you to be told. you could verbatim say the same thing someone else just said and instantly it would click in peoples' minds what was said earlier. you, my friend, have a great gift.

quiet observer - i'm a mix between this one and comedic interjector. the quiet observer might not even utter a word the whole conversation, but you usually know they're there. they mentally take notes about personality types, conversation material, body language, etc. when invited to join a conversation they might give one or two word responses, but generally stay pretty quiet. great partner to the comedic carrier.

conversation de-railer - this is "that guy" or "that girl" who has ADD in the conversation. they might interrupt or ask totally unrelated questions. they'll focus on a minor detail rather than the main idea. they might even try to make jokes but the only sound that follows is the sound of crickets chirping. enemy of the story-teller.

comedic interjector - usually stays very quiet, but not always depending on the frequency of the interjections. they can't carry a conversation like the comedic carrier, but their zingers and quips are enough to keep them in the conversation. is usually pretty successful in their joke "batting average" meaning they have more hits than misses in their positive response to their jokes. supports the comedic carrier and slight antithesis of the serious talker.

i'm sure there are a lot more that i forgot to include such as: the downer, the butt of jokes (aka the stop-making-fun-of-me person), the over-hyper just happy to be around people person, and more. which position are you? feel free to add your own.